Name: DaSolution
Title: This Bloody Island - Part 3: The Long Great Friday
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Bad Girls, they belong to Shed Productions. The character Harold Shand belongs to the company who made the British movie classic "The Long Good Friday." One of the few films from England that I like.
Fandom: Bad Girls
Pairing: Kris/Selena, Frances Meyers, Julie Saunders/Julie Johnson, Neil Graying/Bobby Darren
Rating: R
Summary: I had a long Great Friday, though I can't speak for anyone else!

Note: I'll admit, the grammar and spelling sucks because I did the entire story in about 1 week without doing any serious spell checking or grammar checking. I didn't want to use Microsoft Word's spell checker because it would Americanise my story. However I installed OpenOffice the other day and I like that program more than Microsoft Word. Now that you know what's going on, the only thing I got to say is fuck you Microsoft Word, fuck you America, fuck you Great Britain, fuck all of you dumb dykes at AfterEllen, fuck you Liz May Brice, fuck you Debra Stephenson, fuck you Montana Manhattan Mandana Jones, fuck you Simone Lahbib and your jihad-crazy camel-humping family, and fuck you Bill Gates, you can kiss my ass you nerdy monopolistic bitch.

Chapter 1: Preparing For a Long Great Friday

After I found myself saying 'poof' when I killed John Amaechi, I knew I had to take a short break from this bloody island. I understood the dialect and the culture of England but I really didn't want to have anything to do with it, cause I can't stand the dialect and the culture. I actually lived here for a year in Liverpool back around 1979-1980. I joined a foreign exchange student program so that I can leave my hometown because I thought any place was better than my hometown. However I was very wrong, in about three months I wanted to go back home but due to the program I couldn't. So I tried to make the best of it. I made some new friends, joined a group, find myself going to Anfield Stadium to watch Liverpool matches. Between then and now I visited the country a few times, each time causing more hell than the last, and hating this country more than before.

For the next 2 1/2 weeks I went to various places in Europe: Spain, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, and Croatia. I had lots of fun, lots of partying, and lots of women! I'm glad I took the time off because I probably would end up with a nervous breakdown. After my short European trip I returned to England and stayed at Fenner's place. I relaxed for two days just to get back some of the energy from the partying and sex. Now today is Good Friday and it's time for me to straighten out the situation again. It was around 5 AM and I was enjoying a cup of tea with some wheat toast in the kitchen when Fenner came by.

"Morning mate, how are you doing?"

"Fine thank you, I'm just having a cup of tea with toast."

"Pretty plain breakfast."

"Yeah, I didn't want anything heavy."

"I understand. So what are your plans for today?"

"It's gonna be a long and busy one today. First I'm gonna go to the Midlands to visit Frances Myers then Kris and Selena. Then I'm coming back to London to take care of the released Julies, I have a hunch on them. After that I'm gonna pay a visit to your former boss Neil Graying and his boy-toy Bobby Darren, and finally I'll pay a visit to someone well known."

"Who could that be?"

"I can't tell you for now, but when the time comes I will tell you."

"Hey mate, do you think you're gonna need some assistance today? You got your hands full of those people to deal with." Jim said to me.

"Those People? I've shit 'em."

Jim looked at me like I don't really know how much I'm dealing with. I should have taken his advice at that time, for I would regret it later on. God, I can be too stubborn for my own good.

"OK, take care mate."

"Take care yourself."

First before going to the Midlands I went to a cathedral since it's the nearest religious building nearby. I'm not a Catholic (thank God) but since it's Good Friday I felt like it was my duty to pray to God. I tried to get that stupid Idol Worshiping Catholic church to hire me so I can 'cleanse' the church from those dirty homo pedophile priests, but they wouldn't let me do it for 'unknown' reasons... I entered in the building and found a few other people praying in the seats. I then sat down and started to pray:

"Dear Lord, give me the strength to Lay The Smackdown on those people, give me the ability to slam them through tables without getting a splinter, allow me not to get burnt when using a branding iron to label them on their foreheads, teach me the ways to put them in their places, and help me humiliate them to the fullest of my ability, Amen."

After my visit to the church I left and drove straight to the Midlands. I'm gonna be to those people what the Irishmen were to Harold Shand in the movie The Long Good Friday, a destructive force that can't be stopped.

END OF PART 3, CHAPTER 1

Chapter 2: A Trip To the Midlands

I finally got to the Midlands around 8 pm, just before Frances leaves for work. Frances is not one of those people but that bitch has been pursuing me since she was a Constable. The last time I was here we fought and I won, so I was able to get away but I didn't have enough time to kill her. Now she's a Governing Governor for a prison near Birmingham and hired both Kris and Selena as Prison Officers for the afternoon shift. I was able to break in to her house (I told you British home security ain't worth shit) and was waiting for her in the kitchen. When she entered in the kitchen she was surprised to see me, a surprise that she didn't want to ever have...

"HI Frances, remember me?" I said with a smirk on my face at the end.

"Oh it's you, you evil bastard! You come to this country and you go about killing queers, or as you would say 'those people', just because their love is not the same as everyone else's. I wanted to arrest you for a long time, for all the evil things you have done not just here in the UK, but all over the world. I also know about your ties to Al-Qaeda, Hamas, North Korea, Iraq and how you tried to kill the Tories both here and in Canada." Luckily she didn't bring up about me killing those Right-Wing, Religious, Retarded, Neo-Conservative Republicans in the States, especially the Log Cabin Republicans.

"I just don't go around killing people who loves differently, I also go around killing people who tries to stop me from killing those people who loves differently, that includes you!"

She got upset, rushed to me and tried to give me a right hook but I quickly ducked it. I then gave her a good stomach punch combo which got her bending and holding her stomach.

Then I gave her a head-splitting head butt. After that I grabbed her and smashed her head on the kitchen counter top. I saw a kettle filled with hot water on the stove (cooker :-P ), so I grabbed it.

"I know this isn't tea time but here's your cuppa!"

So I threw the hot water in the kettle on France's face. Burn marks were beginning to appear on her face and she was crying now.

"You're not so tough anymore are you? You were never tough, you put on that tough woman act to hide how insecure and lonely you were, incapable of having a real relationship."

"You don't know nothing about me, you don't know anything more about me that what everything else knows."

"I know a lot more about you than you think." I said assuringly.

"I know that you haven't had a true love interest since your sorry-ass boyfriend left you for your sister."

She was a taken a bit surprised when I said that but then she remembered that she told a few people about it so it was no big surprise.

"I did tell a few people, so I'm not so surprised that you found out about it."

"But there's more Frances. It was me who made your boyfriend leave you."

"You're just saying it out of spite, to play mind games with me. I'm much too wise for that."

"But what I'm telling you is the truth." And it sure was.

"Really? Then do you know what my ex-lover wrote to me? Do you know the words on the letter? I'll give you a hint: Dear Frances, I think it's time for me to tell you that what exist between us is now..."

I then interrupted and continue the rest of what the letter said.

"Over. I have met someone who really turned my world upside-down and I am over the moon about her. I'm sorry for what this has cause between us but I am madly in love with her and I can't help it. We are planning to move to another country to start a new life with each other, that means getting married and having children. I would like to still remain friends but if we can't then I understand that, thus respectfully go our separate ways and move on with our lives. I hope that you can move on with your life and find someone new, that would make me very happy." I still remember the letter word by word to this day, I should be proud of myself :-)

Frances was trying to hold back her tears, but she couldn't hide the sadness in her voice. "How the bloody hell did you know what was on the letter?"

"Uh I helped him write it. See Frances, no matter how strong someone's shield is, they has some sort of crack in it and I found yours. I got to admit you was a tough one to get through but when I was spying on you during your birthday party I saw how interested your sister was in your boyfriend. So after the party I approached her and told her that I can help her steal your man. I taught her the art of seduction and it worked for her. Now she is happily married, pregnant, and has moved to Canada. I know they got married because I was the Best Man in the wedding. See, she's living your dreams of marrying him and having his kids, LOL!"

I could see that her blood was boiling right now and tears were coming out of her eyes, she asked me with an angry tone "I can't bloody believe it, I wonder who gave her the idea to move to Canada."

All I did was just smile and giggled a bit, it was funny just to see the anger on that usually smugged face of hers. Then I showed her pictures of the wedding with me as the Best Man, that made her more angry.

"YOU'RE RUINED MY LIFE YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I'M GONNA KILL YOUR BLOODY ARSE!" With that she grabbed a pan and tried to swing it at me. I dodged that one like I ducked her right hook and then kicked her in the stomach. Then I kneed her in the face. After that I grabbed her hair by the roots and opened the refrigerator door. I placed her head next to the refrigerator itself with her face facing the door and slammed the door on her a few times.

After that I picked her up by her throat with my left hand and slammed her through the kitchen table. Now she was badly hurt so I felt it was time for me to put and end to her, I was still holding her neck with my nails in her skin and brought her to the living room, it had a good old cathode-ray tube TV (in our country we would say boobtube).

"Do you want to watch some telly?" using my phony mocking British accent.

She looked at me scared probably knowing what I was going to do with her. I turned on the telly, I mean TV and Bad Girls was on. This was the perfect time to slam her head through the TV, so I grabbed her and slammed her head through the TV. I let go quick enough not to get myself shocked, but Frances herself wasn't so lucky. In a matter of seconds she was electrocuted to death.

"Well my job is done here, it's time to pay a visit to her colleagues Kris and Selena."

END OF PART 3, CHAPTER 2

Chapter 3: A Trip To the Midlands Part 2

About 15 minutes after sorting out Frances I went to Kris and Selena's place. Kris and Selena are long-time lovers who were in Larkhall together as prisoner and prison officer respectfully. Kris went in for a crime she didn't commit but she did plead guilty so that her sister (the one who committed it) didn't go to jail. Eventually she later protest about her innocence and they finally arrested her sister for the crime. After that the British Courts let her go, which makes no sense to me. Shouldn't she still be in jail for lying in court? That's the stupid British legal system for you...it's a joke! Since Frances knew how tough Kris was, she hired her as a Prison Officer and both she and Selena are now working the afternoon shift in a prison. That was my fortunate luck since they won't have to leave for work until later in the morning.

However today I'm gonna be judge and jury of Kris and her Pussy Pal/Fanny Friend Selena. When I'm judge and jury, the verdict is always Guilty and the punishment is always Death.

I was able to easily enter in their home and just like what I did to Frances I waited for them. They had three cats in the house and they started to make noise. I hate cats. I don't know why lezzies in general love cats so much, aren't they busy enough petting each other's kitty? Eventually they came down and saw me in their living room watching 'Trisha'. I was relaxing with my feet on their sofa while eating Walker's Prawn (Shrimp) Cocktail Crisps (Potato Chips) and drinking a Red Stripe beer (lager). Kris and Selena came up to me and was blocking the TV from my view.

"Hey man, I'm trying to watch TV here, do you mind?"

They didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"Well if it ain't the devil himself, and I'm not talking about Fenner." Kris said while staring straight at me.

"So this is the guy who went out and killed many queers in North America and England, including Karina Leskanich from Katrina and the Waves and Caroline Aherne" Selena asked, like a stupid slag.

"You don't know how much I hated that gay ass song 'Walking On Sunshine'. A song suited for those people. I remember hearing it over and over again when I was attending university. See the rest of the world was lucky to have them as a one-hit wonder, but in my country they played that stupid song two years before the rest of the world heard it, plus they also had two other horrible hits in my country: 'Mexico' and 'Going Down To Liverpool'. Why did the Bangles choose to cover that song? I'll never know." I felt more insulted with the latter song, since I've lived in Liverpool and I though the song didn't do justice for the city.

"Besides who else do you think would be capable of doing all this destruction? The IRA? Well they're capable of doing other damages but not the ones I can do to you two Stupid Cunts. Plus I did some damage in Australia and New Zealand." Yeah they're not thrilled about me after what I did to Kylie Minogue down there. Olivia Newton-John I hope you're paying attention.

As Selena was about to come after me, Kris held her back.

"Selena, he's really dangerous."

"You don't how very dangerous I am."

"I know how very dangerous you are, how much you enjoy killing people like us, and how much you enjoy humiliating us. Why do you like to humiliate us so much? We've been humiliated enough, we don't need anymore humiliation."

"I think on the contrary you people haven't been humiliated enough."

So I quickly grabbed both of their heads and collided them together. They were both in pain so that gave me time to focus on Selena. I gave her two rib punches and a kick upside the head (meaning I kicked them in the back of the head.) However Kris recovered quickly and she was able to give me a few of her own punches. I blocked her last punch and quickly grabbed her by the throat and threw her at the coat rack. I knew she was gonna be more trouble so I quickly grabbed her arm and dislocated her shoulder, plus I broke a few of her fingers. I saw at the back of my eye Selena up with a chair on her hand. As soon as she got close I gave her a good kick to the stomach, she dropped the chair and I picked it up. When she was bending over I smashed the chair on her, she was covered in blood.

I grabbed both of them by their throats and told them this: "Well since you two bull dagging dykes want to BE LIKE A MAN, you're gonna take a BEATING LIKE A MAN." Then I pull out The Solution. Yes The Solution, a modified cricked back with titanium in the centre and the tip of the bat is painted with colors of the rainbow flag (just so I can rub it on those people when I beat the shit out of them.)

"I know you two aren't into threesomes but let me add a third partner to your relationship, her name is The Solution and she likes to swing both ways, like this...CRACK!"

I hit both of them with The Solution, alternating hits between the two. After I was done with my batting practice they were on the ground, bloody and full of bruises. A band-aid (plaster) couldn't help them. But I wasn't done yet with them. I got some raw clams and shoved it in their mouths, impossible to shove it down their throats since they're full of hairballs.

"Sorry girls, but I couldn't find any clams that were bearded, LOL! Beside you have enough pubic hair in your throats already."

I grabbed both of them and dragged their weak bodies into the kitchen. I went to the stove (cooker) and turned on the stove then I threw their faces on top of the stove, they were screaming like hell and it was music to my ears. After that I tied them up to a chair using a fishing wire then I grabbed two dirty rags (that dirty gay rainbow flag), coughed phlegm on them and stuffed them in their mouths.

I was thinking about burning them to death but then I remembered that I was dealing with two cursed boys.

"Hmm, I guess it's time to pull out the Raging Bulldagger." Yes the Raging Bulldagger, a strong and sturdy dagger with a bull's head at the bottom and decorated with sapphires on one side and black triangles on the other side. It was made for those fanny-fingering, rugby-playing, testosterone-shooting (or for those rug-munchers who prefer those in a bottle instead of a needle, testosterone pills-popping), lorry-driving, male-undergarment wearing, diesel dykes.

I then stabbed both of them in the stomachs like what Vito Corleone did to Don Ciccio in The Godfather II, or a better example would be what Pierce Brosnan did to that faggot in A Long Good Friday. I noticed that both were wearing Sapphire Sisters ring, so I took them as a trophy.

"Now I need to go back to London and straighten out the situation down there."

With that I headed back to London, my day was nowhere near done.

END OF PART 3, CHAPTER 3.

Chapter 4: Worthless Jules.

I drove back to the London area and went back to Fenner's house. Jim gave me an extra set of keys so I don't have to worry about getting locked out. When I got inside the house I was surprised that Jim was in the living room. He was sitting on the sofa waiting for me.

"What are you doing here? I thought that you would be at work now."

"Well I couldn't let you have all the fun can I?" He smiled.

"Of course not, you can join along for the rest of the day. I should have brought you with me to the Midlands. I could have used some help in dealing with Kris and Selena."

"I told you that you would need assistance. Those two bulldykes are tough." Jim then cracked a wide smile on his face and said "Thanks mate."

"Not a problem, you probably know where the Julies live now don't you."

"I sure do, they just got out of Larkhall yesterday. Let me take you there."

So we got in the car and Jim drove to Hackney, a crappy place on the border of East London. This is the only place I know in London where cops have to carry their guns. They lived in a Government Estate housing (what we call the Projects).

"It's only fitting, a low-life area for a bunch of low-life skanks."

"Yeah it sure is." Jim replied.

--------------------------------------------

Two woman were in bed naked together and kissing each other passionately. They were holding each other tightly like they're in their own cocoon, oblivious to the world that around them and only aware of the world they created with each other. This is beginning to sound like some cheap romance crap you probably would find in a Danielle Steele or Sarah Waters novel. Little did they know that the door was cracked wide enough for me to hear them yet they won't be able to notice me.

"Jules this is much better than in the cell." Julie Saunders told to Julie Johnston while playing with her hair.

"Yes much better."

I guess that's what happens when you let girls stay in prison too long, they turn into dykes.

"I can't believe I would find myself naked in bed lying next to you." Julie S. told Julie J. with her head on Julie J's shoulder and gently stroking her hair. "I don't want this feeling to stop."

"I've wanted to do this for a long time Ju. You don't know how much I loved you, how much I wanted you to tell me that I'm the only one you need in your life. There's no one else in this world I want to share my heart with but only you. I've always wanted to be more than just friends Ju." Julie J. was telling to Julie S. I was thinking to myself Oh God, I can't stand hearing any more of this crap!

I whispered to Jim "Jim this sounds like a cheesy love segment I would expect from Katie and Jessie on that stupid American TV show Once And Again."

Jim responded "Yes, this is terrible rubbish I expect this type of crap from a Jeanette Winterson's book."

Yet they kept on going:

"Well Jules, I was trying my best to deny my true feelings for you, to deny the fact that we were meant for each other. I was brought up that liking other girls were wrong." Julie S said. "But if loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right."

"I thought that you will never know how much I truly loved you, you don't know how much I wanted to die when you told me you were going to marry Trevor as soon as you get out of Larkhall. However thanks to that Christmas prank, I got myself the best Christmas gift I've ever had, you." Julie J. said with a tear coming down her face.

Listening to those two gave me an upset stomach. Let me stop for a minute and tell you some information I didn't know until Buki Lester told me in Larkhall a few days later. Those two were very close friends and their relationship was platonic but deep inside they knew their love for each other was much more than that. That was especially the case for Julie Johnston who got rather irritated when Julie S. flirted with other men and talked about Trevor.

However during Christmas, Denny and Shaz decided to play another one of their stupid pranks. They put a mistletoe above the door in front of the Julies cell. As predicted the two would walk out of the door together but while unknowingly standing right above the mistletoe they saw Danny and Shaz smiling and giggling. They asked Denny and Shaz what was funny, and they pointed out of the mistletoe above them. At first they were hesitant to kiss each other then Julie Johnston made the initiative by leaning forward towards Julie Saunders and gave her a soft peck on the lips. They just looked at each other for a few seconds knowing that there's no turning back. Then they started to kiss each other passionately for a while, that's what Buki told me. Buki took a picture of the event, it was hilarious.

For the rest of the day they were cuddling and kissing each other in front of everyone, holding hands and giving each other light pecks, they were acting like two little school girls, just like those two from Evanston, Illinois I don't fondly remember... Then when it was bed time those two were fucking each other for the rest of the night, they were worse than Denny and Shaz. Now they're engaged and planning to be married later this year, but I'll make sure that won't happen.

"Let's get those two Tongue-Twisters before they start tongue-twisting each other's you know what."

So to prevent myself from hearing anymore mushy lezzie stuff, I kicked the door wide open.

"Aha! I knew it! My new gaydar device works perfectly!" Yep I got this one on sale at Tesco.

"Oh my bloody God! How do you know we're here?"

"Uh, this guy told me..." Jim then appeared next to me as I was pointing to him. There was even greater shock on their faces, they knew their time was up.

"I always knew you two were a bunch of denial lezzies."

"Actually love, we've been out of the closet since Christmas. Jim could have told you that." Julie S told me. I look at Jim with disbelief on my face.

"Why didn't you tell me Jim?"

"I just wanted to see how long it will take before you found out." Jim said with a smirk. Those two Twat Ticklers were giggling.

"You two shut up before I smack you like your first pimp did."

Those two quickly shut their mouths. He was very brutal on them and I can't blame him.

"After we're done, I'm gonna get you for that." I said to Jim.

"But for now, it's time for us to straighten you two out." So me and Jim got on their bed and pinned them down on their bed. We punched those two Tongue Twisters in their face a few times, I was punching Julie Johnston and Jim was punching Julie Saunders. Then we got the branding irons and burned 'LESSIE' on both of their foreheads (OK me and Jim has this big debate over how to spell 'lezzie' on the branding iron. Jim said it should be with 'SS' and I said it should be with 'ZZ'. Well the guy who made it for us is British so he went with 'SS'. I still think it's 'LEZZIE'). We got them out of their bed, but we forgot that they were naked. That was a big mistake since me and Jim had to see their used-up, worn-out naked bodies in front of us. Jim was about to throw up but he was able to hold it. I couldn't believe that I was looking at Julie Saunder's wrinkled and sagging breast.

I usually like to make my killings long and painful but I couldn't stand looking at them naked so I told Jim to make it quick. He pulled out the icicle he got from their freezer and stabbed Julie Johnston in the neck. Blood was gushing out and a few minutes later she died.

"NOOOOOOOO! YOU MANIACS, YOU KILLED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, NOOOOOOOOOO! You killed the only reason for my existence on this earth, now I don't want to live anymore." She crying like crazy.

I told her "We can arrange that."

So we grabbed her and brought her close to the window. The window was located at the back of the house so we weren't worried whether people will see this. Beside this is Hackney, they're used to seeing people dying here. She was now terrified.

"No please, please don't throw me out of that window!"

We didn't say anything for a short while, but then I said rather coldly "If I throw you out of this window, will you fly?"

"Let's find that out." Jim said and then we threw her out of the window. Since she was on the third floor (ok third storey, are you Brits happy now?), I assumed that she fell about 10 metres to the ground and landed on concrete. Needless to say she died.

We looked down at the splattered body and then I looked at Jim and said "So I guess the answer is no?"

Jim didn't even bother to say a word.

"Now that we're done with those two Muff Divers, let's pay a visit to your old boss Neil Grayling."

Jim had a Cheshire Cat grin on his face when I said that. I knew he had to come to this trip and I knew he was going to have a fun time with the next one.

END OF PART 3, CHAPTER 4.

Chapter 5: Old Grayling Licking Test:

Me and Jim arrived at Neil Grayling's home. Before we were to go in Jim told me a few things.

"Listen mate, Grayling may be bent but he's no girl's blouse. He can hold his own in a fight."

"So you're saying he's a butch fag?"

"Yes he is."

We were able to get in without any problems but it wouldn't surprise me that no one heard us because it seems like the house was blasting Frankie Goes To Hollywood's 'Relax.'

"Of all the fag songs Neil had to be playing...." I said to Jim close to his ear so he can hear me.

"Yeah, he's a poof alright."

If there was one way to describe his house, I would call it a 'Poof Palace.' His house was highly decorated and colourful, with curtains that matches the sofa pillows, and the silverware all shiny and neatly in place on the dinner table. It was too aesthetically pleasing for it to be a straight man's house. There were pictures of Judy Garland, Marylin Monroe, Princess Diane and photos of naked men by Robert Maplethrope all over the place. Oscar Wilde would call this heaven, but as for me and Jim this was Hetero Hell.

So we went upstairs to Neil's bedroom and I was able to crack the door open, Jim was beside me looking in our bags to see if all the weapons were there. By the way, the colour of Neil's bedroom is pink... Then I saw Neil Grayling kneeling down, it looks like that pansy's mouth is on something... I really don't want to know but I know I have to look, so I cracked the door a little bit more to see the other man who's on the receiving end. It looked like Sylvia Hollamby's son Bobby Darren alright. Neil was below Bobby's waist but Bobby wasn't facing Neil, instead Bobby's back was facing Neil. So if Neil wasn't sucking Bobby's dick, then it must mean that Neil is....OH MY GOD!

"EWWW...I can't believe what I just saw Jim."

"What is it?"

"I just saw Neil tossing Bobby Darren's salad."

"What do you mean 'tossing Bobby Darren's salad'?"

I just remembered that the term 'tossing salad' is an Ebonic slang. So I told Jim to take a look for himself, he took a look and got disgusted at what he saw. I told him more about the term 'tossing salad:'

"Well 'tossing salad' means licking someone's asshole. It was made popular by African-American comedian Chris Rock. See they reason why they call it 'tossing salad' is because the hair around the..."

"OK mate, you don't have to tell me, I get the idea!" I saw the disgust in his face.

"I just wish you never told me that expression. I will never look at a Caesar Salad the same way again."

I could help but laugh at that comment.

"What's so funny? That's my favourite salad, now I'm afraid of putting the croûtons in my mouth."

I was laughing even more, but then Jim reminded me to get back in focus. So I looked back through the crack of the door and saw that Neil's tongue was still in Bobby's crack. So I told Jim to get the sawed-off shotgun from the bag and to get ready. We quickly kicked the door open with the shotguns in our hands.

Neil and Bobby nearly shitted when they saw us, that wouldn't be good for Neil since Bobby's butt is next to his face.

"OK you two Butthole Bandits put on some pants, excuse me trousers before I blast your balls off!" I said.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Trying to join us in a threesome?" Neil said rather sarcastically. I know he knows who I am, for when he was Governing Governor of Larkhall Jim told me that he had a picture of me on a dart board. So I came up to him and hit his stomach with the end of my shotgun. He was holding his stomach and he was in serious pain.

"No, we came here to mess both of you fairy cakes up and then kill both of you bum riders." Jim responded.

He was now scared, his face showed it all. Then Bobby had the nerves to talk.

"Leave us alone, what we do is none of your business."

"Oh well if it isn't Neil's rent boy Bobby Darren." I said sarcastically. 'Rent boy' means a young male prostitute, I know he's not a prostitute but it does a good job of rubbing it in both of their faces.

"You're right, it isn't none of our business, but it sure is your moms" I told him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well Bobby, me and Jim paid a visit to your mom yesterday and we showed her pictures of you and Neil making out in the office."

Bobby was shocked as hell when I told him that. "How did you get pictures of us?"

Jim entered in on that one "I had a hidden video camera in the office and a hidden regular camera as well. We also showed parts of the video to your mum, she couldn't watch the whole thing. She couldn't get over the fact that her son is a batty boy, an auntie-man." Jamaican and Guyanese words for faggot respectively.

I entered back in the conversation "When your mom saw the pictures and the video she got very upset. She smashed every cup and glass in the cupboard. Then she told one more thing."

"What's that?"

"For me and Jim to take care of you. And trust me, I know how to take care of people like you."

After I said that I quickly punch him in the face with a stinging left jab. Then I gave him some quick combos to make his gay ass dropped on the floor. Neil sneaked up behind me and hit me on the back of my head. Luckily enough Jim quickly beat him up and threw him down the floor. My head was in pain for a short while, I can't believe that Neil would sucker punch me like that. I grabbed my shotgun again and told Jim to get the bag. In the bag there was two woman's blouses and some makeup. We told those two Dick Suckers to put on the blouses, after that we told them to put on the eye lashes, powders and lipsticks. When they finally putted on those things they looked hilarious!

"Well now Jim, Neil may not be a girl's blouse but he sure is wearing one, LOL!"

We both were laughing after I made that comment.

They looked like a bunch of drag queens without the wigs! I grabbed a camera from my pocket and took a few pictures of those two. Jim had the shotgun pointed to them all the time, so if they tried something slick he would have blasted them. Neil started to cry, what a pantywaist.

"Ahhh, don't get so upset because the knickers you are wearing are in a twist." I said to him in a sad mocking tone, then I just laughed at him, it made Neil cry even more.

After the drag queen show was over I felt that I needed to give that Chi-Chi Man Neil something to really cry about. So I pulled out The Solution and beat the shit out of him with it. Jim started to beat the shit out of Bobby so that I didn't have to worry anymore about Bobby. Now both Neil and Bobby were lying on the floor with blood all over them and crying even more. Then I came up to Neil and told him this:

"I get more kicks watching a grown man like you crying than a grown woman. It shows me how much of a sissy he really is." I knew then it was the time to finish them off so I grabbed my shotgun and so did Jim. Then while stepping on Neil's throat I tried to put the shotgun in his mouth, but he refused to so I smashed his mouth open with the shotgun. Most of his front teeth were broken.

"This will be the last time you will get a big bang in your mouth. Puff on this fag!"

With that I pulled the trigger "BOOM!" His head was splattered all over the floor.

Meanwhile Jim told Bobby "It's sad that a great woman like your mum gave birth to a bum boy like you." Then he pulled the trigger and killed Bobby Darren.

After the shooting, Jim looked at the two Butthole Bandits bodies and said "Well, they didn't get a gay wedding, but they sure got one bloody hell of a shotgun wedding."

We both laughed.

"Now let's burn this contaminated place down." I said.

"Why?" Jim said.

"Because I'm afraid that the next person who lives here might catch AIDS from this Poof Palace."

So we poured gasoline all over the house. I especially poured it on his CD and Vinyl music collection. He had batty boy music like Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Queen and that dirty bisexual Freddie Mercury, Culture Club and that fairy fruit Boy George, Dead or Alive, Pet Shop Boys, Peter Allen, RuPaul, and various boy bands. All that gay shit in his filthy house needs to be burned. After we poured all of the gasoline, Jim lit the match and the whole house was on fire. It was another job well done.

END OF PART 3, CHAPTER 5