Here I am sitting in British Snobs Airways finally landing on Heathrow Airport. This is not my first time being in this country but I came here to get a job done. After taking care of Christian, Kimber and Kit back in Miami, those people from PFLAG to GLAAD to L.E.G.I.T. to Canadian and American Human Rights Campaign were looking for me. As well, while I was created hell back on the other side of the Atlantic I heard about the escape that three nutty dykes did from Larkhall, so I decided to come here since it's time for me to straighten out the situation here. But with the high prices, snotty attitudes, small cramped houses, stupid CCTV cameras that don't do shit, paying for stupid things like for using fork and spoon in a restaurant, gloomy weather, incompetent police, long waiting lines and services, taxes, and even more taxes; I can't stand This Bloody Island!

Name: DaSolution
Title: This Bloody Island (A four-part series) - Part 1: From England To Espana
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Bad Girls, they belong to Shed Productions and ITV and Homo, excuse me I mean Logo. I sure as hell don't want Shell, the girl is crazy.
Fandom: Bad Girls
Pairing: Shell/Denny/Shaz
Rating: R
Summary: On my trip to England I meet Shell, Denny and Shaz, but not in England.

Note: I'll admit, the grammar and spelling sucks because I did the entire story in about 1 week without doing any serious spell checking or grammar checking. I didn't want to use Microsoft Word's spell checker because it would Americanise my story. However I installed OpenOffice the other day and I like that program more than Microsoft Word. Now that you know what's going on, the only thing I got to say is fuck you Microsoft Word, fuck you America, fuck you Great Britain, fuck all of you dumb dykes at AfterEllen, fuck you Liz May Brice, fuck you Debra Stephenson, fuck you Montana Manhattan Mandana Jones, fuck you Simone Lahbib and your jihad-crazy camel-humping family, and fuck you Bill Gates, you can kiss my ass you nerdy monopolistic bitch.

Chapter 1: This Bloody London Town

I'm already starting to hate this bloody island, it takes three hours to go through customs and that's worse than JFK Airport in New York City. Then it takes another two hours to get my rental car since people are rather lazy and incompetent here. What do I get for a car (or as they say here 'auto')? A Renault "Le Car." Le Crap is more like it, a piece of shit that was gotten rid of 20 years ago back on the other side of the Atlantic. To make matters worse the car had hardly any gas! I waited for a god damn two hours and these assholes didn't bother to fill up the tank. So I had to get some 'petrol' which is ridiculously high here, due to all the taxes that are put on it. I have no problems with taxes IF the money was used properly but the fact is that this country looks, feels and runs like it's only a recession away from being a Third World country, I don't understand where's the money going.

God I want to leave this country as fast as I can, Cape Breton looks more developed than this pathetic country. The one bright side is that my friend Jim Fenner offered me a place to stay while I'm here, so I'm gonna take advantage of it. I'm also trying to get adjusted to driving on the left and watching for those stupid speed checks that are around the motorway (their term for a highway).

When I finally got to Jim's house in West London, I always hated the fact that you have to pay parking here or pretty much everywhere in London! So I finally got to the house and knocked on the door.

"Hey mate, it's good to see you again!" Jim said with excitement.

"Same here."

I met Jim the last time I came here. I was actually working for Yvonne Atkins, during that time she was serving time in Larkhall. She got news that someone was extorting her girls, so she wanted me to see who was extorting them. I found out that Jim was behind this and that he was a Prison Officer (PO) at Larkhall, so when I met him at one of the bars (or pubs as they say here) we fought. He was a better fighter than I thought but I still won and when I was about to kill him he told me he could be of help to me. He had strong connections with the Police, Scotland Yards, politicians, and lot of other important people. With his connections I was able to find Margaret Thacher and kill that bitch once and for all. It was just the usual when we meet, we talk a lot of shit while we drink our beer (or as they say 'pints').

"So how's things on the other side of the pond?" referring to North America of course.

"Well I had to leave after I killed off a flaky Plastic Surgeon, his girlfriend and their slut."

There was short silence while Jim looked at me with a look that says Bollocks! Do you take me as a bloody fool? I know it's more than just that.

"Well it was more than that, I killed two girls in Orange County, California; I killed two other girls in Los Angeles; Buried a girl alive in Philadelphia, later on they found her brain dead; Killed all four women of Sex In The City, especially Kim Catrell and Cyntia Nixon whom I tortured and maimed before I killed them; got rid of Painkiller Jane; Nailed and crucified Jenna Jameson on a cross; Blew up the Human Rights Campaign building; Burned down West Hollywood; Blew up Baltimore; Started an anti-gay riot in Greenwich Village; crashed that queer parade in Toronto for the fifth straight year; crashed a lot of gay and lesbian marriages in Massachusetts and Canada; blew up or burned down most swinging clubs in Canada after they passed that law; started and anti-French Canadian and anti-gay riot in Montreal; killed all the bisexual females and males in Vancouver; blackmailed more celebrities and Fortune 500 executives; began close ties with Iran, North Korea, and Hizbollah; tried to start a "Beat Up A Tory" program in Canada; tried to kidnap Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper (like what I did to then-Prime Minister Brian Mulroney); gave advice to Hugo Chavez; worked with Al-Qaeda in eliminating all gay, lesbian and bisexual Muslims; nuked San Francisco and the Island of Lesbos; tried to nuke France again; you know the usual stuff."

"Oh, doing your usual arse-kicking on those people? Hahaha, you haven't changed a bit."

"Did you ever expect me too?"

"Nah, I wouldn't want you to either." Jim said with a short laugh at the end.

"However I'm surprised that you came back here after what you did to actress Saffron Burrows, actor Alan Cummings and many other people the last time you were here. People are still angry at the way you tortured and killed them. I mean I have no problems with beating and torturing those people but you skinned her alive and decapitated his head!" Jim said.

"I kinda miss fucking up those people in this piss-poor country." And that's the only thing I like about this country, I can get away with a lot of shit.

"Well my pit bulls needed some food and since she was one of those people and I never liked her acting skills I though it would be perfect. Besides my pit bulls like white meat." I said with a grin.

Jim was stunned at first for what I said then he chuckled and said "Oh dear, you was always a cheeky bastard."

"And a dangerous and funny cheeky bastard at that!" said with a silly grin on my face.

We just laughed after my comment and then drank some more beer (pints... :-P)

Then Jim brought up a subject I haven't heard of for a while: "I know you know something about the Sapphire Sisters, can you tell me more about them?"

I was surprised to hear that name again, it's been a long time since I wiped out those man-hating muff divers. We're talking about the mid-90s, way before the Jessie and Katie incident.

"Why you asked Jim?"

"Well recently I saw an inmate who had on a stunning sapphire ring that look very much like what they used to wear, based on what you described to me the last time we met."

"Oh shit... I hope they're not coming back. Those tall-ass, big-tits, Amazonian bitches were hard to get rid of, it took me 2 years to get rid of most of them. In fact it was just two years ago when I got rid of the last one, Painkiller Jane. Killing them was so difficult that I had to get a weapon made specially for them, and thus that's how I got the Raging Bulldagger."

Let me stop here for a minute, the Raging Bulldagger is a strong and sturdy dagger with a bull's head at the bottom and decorated with sapphires on one side and black triangles on another. Continuing on...

"So that's why you have sapphires on one side of that dagger of yours!"

"Yes, I had it put on there so that they will know who the dagger was made for."

"But why the black triangles?"

"Well it's also another way to tell who the dagger was made for. In Nazi Germany, any women who were found of performing "unnatural sexual acts" were sent to the camps with a black triangle worn on their clothes. Most of them were queers, thus that's why you see some dykes wearing black triangles."

"Oh, that makes sense now."

"I don't think they're back, I think it's just like a 'tribute' or a 'dedication' to them. Like those retro jerseys people wear back in North America."

However it did disturb me that he brought that up, I haven't seen or heard anything or anybody about the Sapphire Sisters for a long time. I'm praying to God they're not back.

"Hmmm, well the inmates are trying to start a group it seems. Denny and Shaz seemed to be in the group before they escaped."

"Well if I were you I would keep an eye on them. The group said that they were trying to promote 'feminine love' which is true but they were also trying to eliminate the male gender. They were researching on how they can use a woman's DNA to impregnate another woman. Now if you know anything about woman's chromosomes is that they're XX and a man's chromosomes are XY. If one woman gets another woman pregnant she has no Y chromosome to give, thus they can have only female babies."

"Oh bloody shit...."

"Yeah, plus they were trying to spread male-only diseases like prostate cancer to eliminate all the males on this planet."

"Jesus Christ, those cunts are more dangerous than I thought. I need to put an end to this in Larkhall, or else the men that works there are in for a lot of trouble."

"Yeah, but don't make it too apparent, you want to surprise them so they won't be able to react."

"Anyways I got you that new weapon that you asked me about, this decent chap that I know was able to make it. Let me get it for you."

So Jim went into the living room and picked up a long bag. He opened the bag a pulled out a cricket bat, however it's not just a regular cricket bat. It's a modified cricket bat with titanium in the centre and at the tip of the bat the colours of the rainbow flag (just so I can rub it on those people when I beat the shit out of them.) On both sides of the bat it is written "The Solution".

"Thanks man! I've been wanting to get The Solution for quite a while. I can't wait to use it!" I said with an evil grin on my face. I was acting like a kid who got his favourite Christmas gift.

"Why did you named it 'The Solution'?"

"Because it's The Solution to the problem of dealing with those people: beat the shit out of them!"

Jim at this time seemed to be in his own world. Judging by the expression on his face he was thinking about something very important, it probably has to do with the escape.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Well I was thinking about how Shell, Denny and Shannon (Shaz) escaped from jail. I actually gave the keys for Shell to escape and she took Denny and Shannon along with her."

When he said that I didn't know whether to be shocked or to knock the fuck out of him. "WHAT!!! YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER! How could you do that! You know that Shell loves Denny more than anyone else even though she would like to think otherwise. She rather eat her pussy than suck your dick. Did you really think she loves you?"

"No but I didn't think she would actually bring Denny along. She told me that Denny was only a plaything."

"No, you're her plaything. Yvonne told me everything, how she used to sing to her when they were lying in bed together, did she ever did that with you?"

"No, but you still talking to that slapper Yvonne?" Jim said with disgust in his face. Jim and Yvonne don't like each other, just the word itself makes his blood boil and his teeth clinch. He helped get Yvonne out of jail but it was by no means voluntarily. After the fight we had, I told him he owes me one since I let him live. He happily agree to fulfil any of my wishes until I told him that I wanted Yvonne out. That really got him mad but I reminded him that he owes me. To this day those two don't talk to each other.

"Yes, may I remind you that if it wasn't for Yvonne we would never meet." That shut him up real quick.

"But back to the more important question, why the fuck did you let that crazy bitch out?!"

"Well a director came to our prison to film a docu-drama. She wanted to interview some of the prisoners in Larkhall, those who volunteered of course. Shell volunteered and when they talked to her she gave hints of our relationship. I was afraid that she would tell more about what went on between us so I made copies of the prison keys for her." He then paused for a while when he started to feel the grief and guilt that he created on himself. "Shit, what did I do?"

"Well you could have told me Jim, I would have ststraightened her out right then and there."

"I wasn't really thinking at the time. I was so scared that she would expose everything about our relationship."

"Well what's done is done, now where could they be Jim? I'm sure with the combination of all three of their IQs being 81 they would leave some sort of clues."

"Actually there is one, Larkhall got a package from Denny Blood that was postmarked in Seville, Spain. Since I work the morning shift I was able to get it before anyone else. Maybe that can be of help to you?"

"Actually it can be, thanks. Why don't you come along?"

"I can't, I used up most of my holidays and plus I want no one to know about my involvement with Shell."

"OK I understand clearly."

"One thing you can do for me mate." He said to me with a serious look in his eyes.

"Make sure that slag (slut) Shell doesn't ever come back to Larkhall, understood?" Now his face was stone cold when he said it, I knew what he really meant and as his friend I will oblige to it.

"Not a problem Jim." I responded assuringly. I wanted that stupid slut dead as much as he did.

"Besides you need a short holiday from this country. Those people really, really, really hate you."

"Good. The more they hate me, the better I feel."

From the information I was able to gather from Jim and from the Spanish Police I was able to figure out where they were located, so I flew to Seville, Spain and started to look for them.

END of PART 1, CHAPTER 1

Chapter 2: Las Tortilleras

I found out where they were located in Seville, it was at a small villa. How did they get a villa like that I don't know, but I know that they won't be having their peaceful vacation too long...

When I arrived there that little hobbit Shaz was the only one there. She was in the kitchen stunned to see me.

"Oh bloody Jesus, it's you!"

"Damn right bitch!"

"Please don't hurt me, please." That little imp was on her knees begging for mercy and crying like a little girl. It was like looking at a tree stump, it was the perfect opportunity to pimp smack her.

"SMACK! Shut da fuck up bitch. You Mini-Me Midget Ho!"

Then I started to beat the shit out of that Keebler Elf. She was now crying and cover with blood. However amazingly she got up and tried to do a Roundhouse kick on me. Me, being a master in Martial Arts, was able to dodge it and surprised her with two quick lefts and then I gave her a Roundhouse kick of my own. She flew to the other side of the room. Then she came back up and try to rush me, but it was really pathetic. It was just like the scene from Spaceballs, when she came about my arm's distance I stuck my arm out and was holding her head. She was trying to hit me but all she was hitting was the air, like I said it was really pathetic. I was trying my best not to laugh. After I got bored with her trying to beat me up, I pushed her back.

"Hey Spaz."

"It's Shaz!"

"Whatever, Al might have kicked your ass back in Larkhall, but the ass-kicking you got from her ain't nothing what I'm gonna do to your vertically-challenged ass!"

I grabbed that White Pygmy and pull out my branding iron. I then burned 'PYGMY' on her forehead and laughed at her.

"Now when people see you, they're gonna laugh at your White Pygmy's ass like what I'm doing now, LOL."

By then she was all in tears, so I laughed more. I didn't give a shit.

Then I grabbed her by the throat and threw that poor excuse for a little boy to the other side of the room. Just when I was about to kill her, dumb-ass Denny Blood comes in.

"Wots goin' on?" she asked just like the stupid-ass dimwitted dyke bitch she is. I thought this was my perfect opportunity to test out The Solution.

"Beating the shit out of your deformed girl."

It took a while for those dead brain cells to work, but when they did she realise who I was.

"Oh bloody hell! Its you! Da one who killed Marissa and Alex back in da States!" she said with lots of nervousness and fear.

She tried to run out of the villa but I was too quick for her and as soon as I got her I picked her up from her throat and slam the stupid bitch through the table. Then I grabbed a vase from another table and smashed it on her head. Shaz tried to jump in but I quickly grabbed her and had both of them head butt each other. After that I grabbed both of them and slammed them on the wall, twice to make sure they know not to fuck with me. I threw Shaz on the floor so I can concentrate on Denny. I knew what was perfect for this mixed nut, and thus I pull out The Solution.

"Oh wot is dat?"

"It's The Solution bitch! A modified cricket bat made to take care of confused nuts like you. I know you don't go both ways however the Solution does but not in the way you think it does."

"Wot do ya mean?"

That tuna fish-eating bitch is really that god damn stupid.

"This is what I mean, CRACK!" I hit her in the back with the solution. I then hit her in the ribs and then in the back of the head. Spaz was screaming like crazy.

"STOP IT PLEASE!!! STOP IT!!!"

"SHUT DA FUCK UP YOU LITTLE TURD!!!"

Then I hit Shaz with The Solution right on her lips. I think she lost a couple of teeth because of it. I then start to beat up Denny more with The Solution till she couldn't get up anymore. Now she was lying in the floor crying. I felt like it was time to pull out the Raging Bulldagger. She saw the bulldagger and was terrified.

"Oh no it's da Raging Bulldagger, you won't use it on me."

God damn that bitch was stupid, I need to shut her up and kill her quickly before she pisses me off more.

"Hell yeah bitch, but I'm not gonna stick it in you. Instead I'm gonna do something else..."

I then used my right hand to squeeze her cheeks so that her tongue will stick out.

"Remember when that stupid stumpy boy-dyke girlfriend of yours Spaz gave you that 'tongue piercing'? Well I'm gonna give you something else."

So with the Raging Bulldagger on my left hand I cut off her tongue. Blood begins to flow like crazy from her mouth. Good, I don't have to listen to that dumb-ass lezzie anymore.

"Now you will finally live up to your name, Daniella BLOOD, LOL. Also now you can't eat anymore pussy, you bearded clam smacking, tortilla flapping, cunt-juice drinking, confused dyke. That also means you can't tongue Spaz on BOTH of her lips, LOL!"

Then I grabbed a branding iron and burned "RETARD" on that disgusting dyke's forehead. Now Ren and Stumpy were lying on the floor with Spaz begging for mercy and Denny just crying because I made sure she can't eat anymore pussy. They were also holding each other's hands trying to comfort each other.

"Ahhh, ain't that sweet...fuck no!"

So I stepped on their hands with the Timberland boots I was wearing, breaking a few bones on their hands. They were crying even more and I was laughing even more. Then I noticed something, they were both wearing sapphire rings.

"Oh, Sapphire Sister rings. You don't mind if I take them do you?"

Before they could say anything I chopped their ring fingers off with the Raging Bulldagger and took their rings as a souvenir.

I decided it was time to finish them off, so I found some electrical cables connected to the villa, cut them and stick them on the back of their heads, giving them my own version of electro-shock therapy. They were screaming like hell, well Denny was trying to but she can't because her tongue was cut off. Their eyes started to pop out of their socket and then their head started to get bigger and bigger and finally their heads exploded.

END OF PART 1, CHAPTER 2

Chapter 3: Evil Personified meets Evil Defined

20 minutes after killing that coochie-playing rodent Shaz and that borderline-retard Denny, I was preparing myself for the biggest challenge yet: Shell Dockley. When she finally came to the villa she was shocked to see what had happen to Denny, she didn't give a shit about Shaz though. It's only after I finish killing Shell that the situation will finally straighten out.

"Denny... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She was crying like a battered housewife and was wailing like a whale (or Anita Baker, same difference). I just stood behind her while she kept going on just waiting for her to notice me. Eventually she did and when she noticed me she was stunned and frozen.

"Hello Shell."

"Oh no, it's the bloody devil himself. I knew it had to be you, Fenner is not that wicked but you are."

"So?"

She was lost for words when I didn't show any compassion for what I've done, like she knows anything about compassion...

"Shell, the judge may have called you Evil Personified, but what you're looking at is the true definition of Evil. I'm Evil Defined, Tuna Breath. If you look up the word 'evil' in a dictionary and right next to the word you'll see a picture of me with a Magnum on one hand and me sticking out my middle finger with the other."

"Remember it was my face on the cover of Life magazine with the words 'Evil Defined' on it." Numerous newspapers, magazines, queer websites, and others in England were calling me Evil Defined.

"Besides you like bad men don't you Shell? That's what turns you on about Fenner, even with massive bags under his eyes."

"Yes I do."

"So girl, show me how bad and naughty you are."

Shell came up to me and started to kiss me, she tried to kiss me on the lips but there's no way in the world that I was gonna let a nasty wrench like that kiss me on my lips. After that she started to kiss me all over my neck, and all I was thinking about was that I was gonna need a chemical bath. Then she took off my shirt and started to kiss me all over, I was just waiting til she got to the right position. Then when she was about to get between my legs I kneed her in the face. Blood was pouring all over her face and it looked like she lost a few of her teeth.

"Bitch do you think that I was gonna fuck that contaminated pussy of yours? HELL NO! I rather fuck that no-talent actress/ho Debra Stephenson than you!"

I grabbed her by her throat with one hand and then slammed her through another table in the villa. Then I grabbed her by her hair and slammed her on the wall face first. I then started to drag her body on the floor all over the house making sure she hits everything on the floor.

I then stood her up and got myself ready to kick her in her crotch. She was barely able to stand but I made sure that she can by pulling her hair. I then put all of my power into that left foot of mine and kicked her right between her legs...big mistake! Somehow most of my foot was inside her coochie! That bitch's cunt is like the Grand Canyon!

"Ah ha, I got you now you prick!" Shell said in her usual evil excitement.

So somehow with my foot still stuck up in her Black Hole, she dragged me to an opening with two walls on the side. There I was in the middle of the opening not knowing what that bitch with the Mariana's Trench pussyhole was gonna do to me. Then she started to swing her body left to right, what that did was made my head and part of my shoulder hit each side of the wall alternatively.

"LOL, Now for the first time ever you're swinging both ways!"

I didn't find that joke funny at all. I rather be dead than to be swinging both ways, swingers/bisexuals are the lowest form of human beings on this planet. They are in the bottom of the gene pool, they're irrelevant, they're nothing but parasites, and they can't be trusted at all.

She eventually stopped the swinging because she herself was getting dizzy. For the first time in a while it looks like I was gonna get beaten, I was having a massive headache and I was also having double vision. I then remember what my master taught me in school: "Remember son, you can't always rely on your eyes. You have four others senses, so use them." Then I heard what sounded like a broken glass. I was thinking to myself Shell has broken some glass....oh shit! I remember Jim telling me his story of how Shell stabbed him with broken glass after she was performing foreplay on him.

Then I did some quick thinking on what to do next while still remembering the quote from my master. So using my sense of hearing and my sense of smell to detect her close proximity (her pussy stanks) I kicked the shit out of Shell with my right foot on her chest. She flew five metres away and my left foot was finally free from her nasty snatch. But it was sticky with green stuff on it and some blood and... it so nasty I don't wanna talk about it!

Thus while she was lying on the floor unconscious, I quickly went into the washroom and washed my feet. Then I came back and saw Shell still lying there, so I waked her up using The Solution. Then I hit her a few times with The Solution, by now that Fence Jumper was no longer tough, she was begging for my mercy. I think it was time for me to finish her off once and for all.

So I tied her to a chair using barbed wires and then told her this:

"You know you are the worst type of dyke there is."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you are a dyke in denial. You would rather eat Denny's pussy than suck any man's dick. You used to constantly tease Nikki Wade about it but you were no better, you dirty hypocrite. Those are types of dykes, fags, and especially bisexuals I hate the most and the ones I pursue the most as well. The ones that are hypocrites and who enjoys being in the closet."

"How do you know that? What proof do you have?"

"That fact that you sing to Denny in bed to show you affection. You get jealous when Denny is hugging and kissing Shaz. And of course the girl you killed..."

"What about her?"

"Well you didn't kill her because she was going out with your boyfriend, you killed her because she wasn't returning your affection! You sent her flowers and candies on her birthday. You winked at her numerous times. You sent her love letters a few times. You even planned to have a tattoo of her on your ass! You're nothing more than a psycho-lezbo."

By now even though her face was bloodied you could still see the stunned look on her face.

"Oh there's more! You never loved your boyfriend, you just wanted a kid or two from him so he can pay for Child Support and you end up with the money. The other reason why you dated him is because he knew a lot of pretty girls and you were gonna go through him to get to them. The last reason why you killed that girl is because you though if you couldn't have her, no one else will. Now how do I know all this? Your now ex-boyfriend told me!"

By then some tears were showing on her face, which cleaned off the blood a little bit. Then I notice something, a shining sapphire ring!

"And here's the latest proof of your dykiness, a Sapphire Sisters ring!" So I bit her ring finger and took the ring as a souvenir.

I then told her "Don't worry, I know just the right product to clean you face." So I got some rubbing alcohol and poured most of it on her already-peroxide hair of hers, then I poured the rest on her face. It burned but I didn't give a damn. Then I lit a match and threw it on top of her head. She was screaming and hollering while she was getting burned. Then the whole villa was on fire but by that time that happened I was long gone.

"Oh shit, I have to meet someone tonight in London, I hope I will make it on time."

END OF CHAPTER 1, PART 3

Chapter 4: Zip Me Up Before You Go-Go/WHAMming in the public washroom (pick your favourite title).

I was able to get to London on time to meet someone on a 'date', if you wanna call it like that. The meeting place was going to be at a public washroom near Alexandre Palace (or as those silly Londoner would say 'Ally Pally'). You'll find out later why.

I can't believe I have to pay 50 pence to be in a filthy washroom. At 50 pence the washroom should be as clean as a Greek temple. Instead I'm in a washroom with piss, shit and toilet paper all over the place. I have to put my bag on top of the toilet bowl, it's the only clean place in this shithole. After about 15 minutes he arrives.

"Hey big stud are you around. I'm in need of a Father Figure."

It was none other than that fruity, French, flaming, flamboyant, fudge packing, faerie, fire hosing, feminine, fruit cake, fairy cake, fingering buttholes, faggot George Michael. Yep, he still goes to public washrooms and seeks glory in the "glory hole."

"And I'm in need a good suck George." I was rolling my eyes over this lameness. I sounded like that gay dude that Damon Wayan plays on the American show In Living Color.

"How big are you baby?"

"Big and juicy."

What George doesn't know is that what he's about to put his dirty dick-sucking mouth on is actually a modified silencer that was made in Sweden. It's shaped and feels like a real penis so George wouldn't be able to tell whether or not it's fake, but then again as horny as he was he wouldn't care one bit. As for the silencer itself, those Swedish people are some kinky mother fuckers don't you think?

So I put the modified silencer on my Magnum and place it through the glory hole.

"Oh my Lord, I wanna shove this big boy up my arse."

I was trying to hold my vomit after he made that comment. Oh god I don't want to see or smell his hairy ass, nor do I wanna be cleaning his shit off of my silencer.

"Maybe next time Greek stud, but for now a suck will just do."

As he was about to get a taste of my Big Bite I just remembered one thing.

"Oh I nearly forgot, before you get your treat you gotta do a trick."

A disappointed George then remembers, "Oh yeah, I gotta do that song for you, right?"

"That right sweet buns."

With that I quickly grabbed the tape recorder and started to record. I had to record what he was gonna sing, something tells me it was gonna be a classic.

So George was getting his vocal chords warmed up and then he begins to sing this classic:

Zip me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging in the bathroom oh-no
Zip me up before you go-go
I don't wanna miss it when you shoot up high
Zip me up before you go-go
'cos it's not fun when I do it solo
Zip me up before you go-go
Take my pants off tonight

By now needless to say I was trying my best to hold my laughter. It didn't work too well.

I want to shoot up high...

"OK that's enough." I was trying to say it as serious as possible. I had to stop him because I was gonna die of laughter if he kept on continuing.

"Now you can have your treat."

Then he started to suck on my artificial dick like he was trying to get to the centre of a Tootsie Roll pop. All that time I had to pretend to be having my dick sucked, I was getting very noxious of this. He was saying sick gay shit and I had to listen to this homo crap. About five minutes later he wanted me to cum.

"Oh give me that sauerkraut."

"Oh yeah, just go harder and faster." Oh God help me...

"Oh give me that creme-filling of yours."

"Yeah stud, you're gonna get that creme filling...you're gonna get that creme filling that you can never get out of a Twinkie."

After a minute I felt like it was time.

"Are you cumming hot stuff? I want you to give me the Big Bang you promised." Oh you're gonna get the Big Bang alright...

"Yes I'm cumming...I'm cummin......I'm cum.............I'M CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN"

During the long expression of me saying "I'm Cumming" I finally pulled the trigger.

"BANG" Well it wasn't loud since it was a silencer, but it was effective.

When I got out of the stall I saw George Michael lying dead on the floor with his mouth open, his right hand on his dick, and blood all over the washroom.

"Zip me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging in the bathroom oh-no
Zip me up before you go-go
I don't wanna miss it when you shoot up high...LOL!"

Oh boy, I can't wait till I play this to my friends back home, they will have a laughing riot!

Now that my job is done I gotta get some rest, Yvonne Atkins wants to see me tomorrow and she's not the type of person who you want to be late for...

THE END OF PART 1